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10/1/1993 - Leaving Home to Go Home by Cheng Li

NOT FOR PUBLICATION WITHOUTWRITER SCONSENT INSTITUTEOFCURRENTWORLDAFFAIRS LEAVING HOMETO GO HOME Shanghai China October Mr PeterBirdMartin Executive Director Institute ofCurrentWorldAffairs 4WestWheelock Street Hanover NH03755 U S A DearPeter Itmayseem Iamstartingmynewsletterfrom Chinawithaphoto anAmericangirl BabyJessica Thephoto takenbyLennoxMcLendon ajournalist fortheAssociated Press appeared almost allmajorAmericannews magazinesduringthepastsummer Time magazinenotonlyselected photo Best Shot ofthe season providedan appropriate subtitle tothe picture LeavingHometoGoHome Doesn tthis subtitle something aboutmyjourneybackto China IsaidtomyselfasIrereadBaby Jassica storyin aNorthwest airplane San Francisco Shanghai GoingtoChinameansagooddeal moretomethanworkingabroadfora coupleofyears Itmeansgoingtothe countryofmybirth inwhich apartfrom briefvisitthreeyears Ihavenot lived since Wh visitedyouin Hanover NewHampshire lastmonth askedmewhereI considermyhometobe Ididnotrespondtoyourquestion Indeed Icouldnotansweritwithoutarichstew emotionboilingwithinme BabyJessica LeavingHometoGoHome ChcngLi aanICWAfellow studying political economy ofthe coast ofChina Since theInstituteofCurrentWorldAffairs theCrane RogersFoundation hasprovidedlong termfellowships enable outstandingyoungadultstoliveoutsidetheUnitedStatesandwriteaboutinternationalareasandissues Endowed bythelateCharlesR Crane theInstituteisalsosupportedbycontributionsfromlike mindedindividualsand foundations Everyimmigrant suspendedbetweenanoldhomeandanewone adouble identity FortheChinese oldhome laojia usuallymeansone sbirthplace No matterwhentheysettleddownintheir adoptive countries overseas Chinese haveoftenfeltthectfltural linguistic andpsychologicaltiesoftheirmotherland At leastin their attachments playa theireconomicinvestmentsin mainland China Areportpubli shedbyThe Economistlastyear arguedthat direct investmentfrom overseas Chinese tomainlandChinahasbeena drivingforce China seconomicboom HongKongandTaiwantogetheraccountedfortwo thirdsof thedirect investmentflows July18th TheChineseofSouth EastAsia added another while thepercentages contributedbythe Chinese ofAmerica Europe Oceania andotherplacesareasyetunknown Thisisthedevelopment resource thatRussiaand otherEasternEuropean countries according author onlydream about Bynomeansdo alloftheoverseasChinesehaveastrongattachmenttotheir oldhome SomeriskedtheirlivestoescapefromChina Aswesawontelevisionlast summer refugeesfrom southeastern Chinamade amonth longarduousjourneyto theNewYorkharbor Manyofthemwouldnever underanycircumstances attempt ajourneybackto theirnative Anoldhomeis often confirmedbymemory especially childhoodmemory Forthe generationofChinesewhogrewup duringtheCulturalRevolution myself childhoodmemories hardlyenjoyabl J P Dieny expertonChinese children literature offeredapiercing comment catastrophic ofrecentChinesehistory He wrote Chinatreats children adults andadults children I spentmost ofmyboyhood years fleeingfromthe Red Terror ofthe Cultural Revolution Asthe formerowneroftwotextile factories inShanghai class OnaNorthwestflightfromSanFranciscotoShanghai enemy myfather suffered immediate attack Cultural Revolution beganin That summer thesummerof1966 Shanghaiwasunusuallyhotandextremelyhumid Virtuallyeverynight agroup ofRedGuardsbangedonthedoorofourhouseand forcedusoutofourbeds EveryRedGuardheldabeltinhishandandbeatmy parentsandbrotherswhenevertheyliked Atthe ofthe summer myfatherwas forced leaveus andwas remoteandisolatedplace Iwasnotabletogotoschoolforthreeyears becauseifI steppedoutofthehouse Iwouldbebeatenupbymyneighbors notonlybymy peers butadultsaswell Theywouldspitinmyfaceandmybody Afterwards evenmorep ainful mymotherwould cryas shewashedmyspittle stained clothes Yet inmyfamily Iwas luckyone AtleastIwasspared ofmyeldestbrother Li Yifu HewasastudentatFudan Universitywhenhewas caught listening tothe Voice ofAmerica foreignenemy China broadcasting Maoists charged counter revolutionary andtorturedhimnumeroustimesin denouncingmeetings In1968 whenYifuwas rusticated small towninHunanprovince persecutionpresumablycontinued Myfamilyneverheardfromhim afterthat Severalmonthslater twomencame toseemymother andgaveherYifu sbelongings includingasmashedwatch They toldus thatYifucommitted suicide bylyingontherailwaytrack Not untilmanyyears laterdidweknow Maoists actuallybeaten Yifutodeathandthenmovedhis bodyto railwaytrack Mybrotherlistened tothe VoiceofAmerica nottohearthe Myeldestbrother astudentofFudanUnirerity newsprogram buttopracticehis askilledduringtheCulturalRerolution English comprehension Because mymotherdidnotallow metolearnEnglishformanyyearsevenaftertheCulturalRevolution Poormother Shehadbecome confusedundertheRedTerror somanyinnocent activities hadbeendeemed counterrevolutionary thatwhocouldknowwhatnextto expect Mychildhoodmemorieswerethus filledwithscenes ofmen sinhumanity towardsotherhumanbeings Thepoliticalclimate however significantlychanged whenChina sreformbeganin1978 Myfatherreturnedtoouroldhouse Thefalse chargeagainstmybrotherwascleared Iwenttouniversity anditseemedlikethe dreamthat Ihadneverdaredtohave duringtheCulturalRevolutionfinallycame Thenightmareofthepast however stillrecurrentinmythoughts Youcanimaginehowthrilled Iwas eightyears agowhentheUniversityof California atBerkeleyofferedmea scholarship master sprogram inAsian Studies ButwhenIsaid Good tomyparentsinfrontofourhouse alloureyes werefilledwithtears Weallthoughtitmightbeafinal farewell Don tcomeback YoushouldsettledowninAmerica Theseweretheonly words thatmyfather andwere uncharacteristic ofhim becausehe usuallylikedtogivemelonglectures Thesewords however reflectedhislife experience Asa patrioticcapitalist thetermthattheChineseCommunistsused refertoentrepreneurs decidedtoremaininShanghai afterthe Revolution Whatlaterhappenedtomyfatherandtohisfamilymadehimfeelhis loveofhishomecountrywasbetrayed Hewastryingtotellme Iunderstood wasnotthatwehad abandonedour country ourcountryhadabandonedus JustasBabyJessicahasbecomearealmemberofheradoptivefamily Ihave madetheUnitedStatesmyhome Duringthepasteightyears whetherworkingina downtownOaklandrestaurantas washer studyingatPrincetonUniversity asaPh D candidate Ienjoyedthethingswhichusedtobeforeigntome freedom independence andtranquility I alwaysrememberan episode thathappened afewweeks after I arrived America Astaffmemberin Institute ofEastAsian Studies atBerkeleykindly offeredmeatouroftheBayarea Shewasinherearly40s Bornandbredin Taiwan sheca metotheU S intheearly1970sforherpost graduateeducation She metherhusband anotherTaiwanese thegraduate schoolandlater settleddownin S Forovertenyearsnow wheneverChinesestudents visitingscholars governmentdelegates cometo Berkeley always voluntarilyhelped familiarizethemwiththearea Peoplealllikeher partlybecauseofherabilityto speakmanyChinesedialects Cantonese Sichuanese Shanghaiese Hakka butmainlybecause ofherboundless enthusiasm bridge culturalgapfor newcomers ShehasmadegreateffortstohelpChineseunderstandAmericans theirprinciples values attitudes ofcourse theirdilemmas andproblems IaskedhertotakemetoherfavoritespotintheBayarea That seasy IthoughtshewouldshowmethefamousplacessuchastheGoldenGate Bridge theFisherman sWharf theSanFrancisco Chinatown Stanfordcampus ortheLawrenceScienceHallontheBerkeleyhill Butinstead sheguidedmetoan icecreamstoreonTelegraphAvenueinBerkeley Therewasnothingspecialinthis icecreamshop youcanea silyfindoneinanytownorcityacrossAmerica Butasa personwhojustarrivedfromChina Iwasabsolutelyamazedbysomanyvarietiesof cream It choose amongthem I Couldyou givemesome advice rmafraid I couldn She I haven thadicecream formanyyears Butthis favorite place Yes whatI reallyenjoyed thefreedom ofchoice andthe availabilityof options Shesaidinahalf seriousandhalf humoroustone Eatingtoomuchice cream however healthy Sheapparentlywasnotjusttalkingaboutthechoiceoficecream Her metaphorical expression toldmemuchmore abouttheAmericanwayoflifethanany specialbookonthesubjectcouldtell Morethaneightyearshavepassed butOur conversationin theicecreamshophasalwaysbeenvividinmymind Freedomdoes haveitscost Forfreedom orrather anexcessoffreedom canbedangerous Yet HenryGrunwald formerEditor ChiefofTimemagazine forcefullyargued freedom alsoholds withinitthemeansto correct defects allows indeed encourages criticize their society tinker improve Emphasisonindividuality respectfor diversity constantsearch fornew opportunitieshaveconstitutedsomeofthebasicAmericanvalues ThelongerIhave stayedintheU S themoreIhaveappreciatedthesevalues Meanwhile Ihavealso become aware ofsome ofthe serious political socio economic problems country IhavenolongerconceivedofAmericaasatmifiedentityoranillusionasI didpriortomyarrivalintheUnitedStates Instead Irelishthesubtlety ambiguity complexitywhenItrytounderstandmynewhomecountry Onequestion Ifrequentlyponderoveris Howcouldthecountrywhich stronglyemphasizes theprinciple ofequalityhave ofthemostunequal records incomedistributionintheworld AmericansliketocriticizeJapan withgreat validity itshierarchical social structure butironically theincomegapbetween business executives andemployees inJapanis smallerthanthatfoundin Americanfirms Inthesameway thecountrywhosedefiningsymbol istheStatu eofLiberty hasyettosolveitsracialandethnicalproblems TheverdictontheRodneyKing caseandtheconsequent violenceinsouthern Californiashockedthe entire world Americahasseenthepotentialfornation wideviolenceandchaos Whilewatching A riotsontelevision Isuddenlyrealizedthatthe suffering andcruelty embodiedinChina CulturalRevolutionwerenotentirelyunique F Braudel aFrance bornhistorian oncemadethe followingremarkashe describedhislearningexperiences inanewplace LiveinLondonforayearandyou willnotgettoknowmuchaboutEngland Butthroughcomparison inthelightof yoursurprise youwillsuddenlycometounderstandsomeofthemoreprofoundand individual characteristics ofFrance whichyoudidnotpreviouslyunderstand What IhavelearnedinAmerica example abouthow ademocratic political system dealswithpoliticalconflictsandsocialcrisis hasshedlightonmyunderstandingof China Chinahas changedveryquicklyandhasbecome analtogether differentplace sinceIleft AsIhavelearnedfromWesternmedia China seconomicperf ormancein 1980s early1990s brought about ofthe greatest developments inhumanwelfareanywhereatanytime Morethan100millionChinesepeasants wereliftedoutof absolutepoverty notenoughfood Thisnumberofpeople aBritishreporter describes isthepopulation oftwoBritains oneJapan orhalfan America China srealGNPhasgrownbyanaverageof9 sinceeconomicreforms startedin1978 Accordingtoonestudy China seconomyby1994andby2002will respectivelyfour times andeighttimes biggerthan itwas China srushtomarketeconomyisalsoarushtowardsindividualliberty With financial capacity people onlyhave chance choose restaurants selectfancyclothes butalsoareabletodecidewheretoworkandhowtolive Before IleftChina everyChinesecitizenshouldhaveadanwei aunit whetheritbea factory aschool ashop oraneighborhoodcommittee Danweidistributedindustrial coupons example onecanbuyawatchwith coupons abicycle withtwenty coupons atelevisionsetforfortycoupons Onehadtorece iveapprovalfrom Danweiifonewantedtogetmarriedortohaveachild Danweidecidedwhomshould berecruited theCommunistParty whomshouldbepromoted andwhomshould bepunishedinpoliticalcampaigns Danweiservedasaninstitutionalmeansfor Communistelites todetermineboththe politicalandeconomiclife ofanindividual Butnow danwei losing itsimpoce because people freelychoose danwei orstarttheirownprivate danwei Economicreformispassingpower fromrepressive institutions toindividual enterprises aWesternjournalist observes Thefurtherthisempowermentgoes theharderitistoreverse andthe morethe ofthe CommunistPartyfades Noonewillbe persecuted criticized forjustlisteningtothe Voice ofAmerica thoughsomeforeign radiostations didhelp agitate Chinese political protest against thegovernmentduring Tiananmen turmoil Today communicationand exchangewiththe outsideworldhave becomepartofdailylife inChina Formyfamily andmyself nothingis dramatic I return ShanghaiasaVisiting FudanUniversity wheremybrotherwaspersecuted26 Professoratboththe yearsagoandwherenowIhavereturnedasaVisitingProfessor Shanghai Institute International Affairs andtheDepartmentofInternationalPoliticsofFudanUniversity Twenty fiveyears myeldestbrother student ofFudan falselycharged atthat school laterkilledwhenhewas23 TodayIamreturningtothesameplaceas aChinese American Scholar lecturingonpolitics anddoingresearchonSino American relations Theplace whichabandoneditsnativesonsanddaughtersbefore warmlywelcomesthemback Icanfeeland indeed actuallyseeafuturethatIcould never imaginebefore Ihavechanged sohasmynativeland Idon trefertosomesuperficial changesinmylife changesinsocio economicstatus forinstance buttochanges inmyvaluesandvisions NeitherdoImeanthatIhaveanunreservedoptimism aboutrecentdevelopmentsinChina Privatizationineconomicstructureand liberalizationin political system arethebroad directions thatChinaismoving toward butthe priority timing leadership public consensus ofthe military consolidationofthe legal system internationalenvironment allimportant factors determiningthefutureofthe country Marketmechanism notonlybroughtabout rapideconomic development serious problems corruption inflation polarization The Chinese Communist Partyhas undoubtedlybeenlosingits authorityandpower Butif process happens thecountrywillbe chaos Iamnotsurethat theAmericanmediahas yetgiven adequate emphasis tothe complexityofChina reformandthemoral ReunitingwithmyparentsinfrontofourhouseinShanghai dilemmasinvolved Sino U S relationshavebeenconstantlyonmymindsince startedmy journeyacrossthePacific OnmywaytoShanghai IspentafewdaysinHongKong inlateSeptember ThemostpopulartopictherewasBeijing sbidforhostcityofthe Olympic Gamesin since International Olympic Committeewas about voteonthelocation Severalpublicopinionpolls indicatedthataboutthree fourthsof HongKongresidentspreferredthegamestobeheldinBeijing HONGKONG SUPPORTSBEIJING2000 aneon about stories highand stretching alongthebankofKowloon Muchhaschanged WhenIvisitedHongKongthree yearsago Isawasignofsimilarproportion ThatonereflectedHongKongresidents resentment ofthe Beijingmassacre I asked anewspaper editor inHongKongto explainthe change ofpublic opiniontowardsBeijing Hostingthe OlympicGamesinBeijingis interest oftheeconomyof GreaterChina referringtomainlandChina Taiwan andHongKong Hesaid WhatabouttheargumentconcerninghumanrightsviolationsinChina I asked Areyouconcernedabouttheseissues Ofcourse weinHongKongare deeplyconcerned abouthumanrights China especiallyconsideringthefactthatHongKongis goingtobepartofChinain ItwillgiveChina however agreat chancetoimproveitshumanrightsrecord ifBeijing selected hostthe2000 Olympic Games Don tyoucall itanimprovementthatChinareleasedWeiJingsheng issidentWhohadbeeninprisonfor years justbeforethe InternationalOlympic Committee going I asked Whynot Helooked atmeandseemedto implythat Ihadjustmissedhis point Hecontinued Isometimes wonderwhethertheAmericanpoliticianswho attempted toblockBeijing efforttoholdthegames reallyconcerned about humanrights inChina WhenPresidentNixonvisitedChinain Cultural Revolutionwasstillgoingon MillionsofChinesewereundertotalitarianrepression andtheentirecountrywaslikeaprison Buthumanrightsissueswerenevereven raisedbytheU S government ThoseAmericansguestswhocamebackfromChina often talked abouthowgreatChina Whenonehasbeen offeredbythe course Chinesemeal every wouldcertainlyfeelgreatandone outlookwouldundoubtedlybecome brighter Theeditor sassistantwhowasheatingourconversationadded Welaughed TheeditorexplainedtomethathisassistantrecentlyreadRonald Reagan smemoirAnAmericanWay which onlyhas afewpages China butmost ofthese pages bouta course Chinesebanquethehadon China ThoseAmericanpolicy makers seemtobemoreinterestedintheirown politicalagenda Histonebecamemoreserious Couldyoubemore specific SomeAmericanpoliticians feltuncomfortable since ColdWaris Theydesperatelyneedanewenemy Chinaisanidealtarget becauseitstill claimstobeacommunistregime Furthermore China srecenteconomicsurgehas mademanyAmericanpoliticians nervous Although Ididnotentirelyagreewithhim Ifoundthathiscommentsonthe ironiesinvolvedintheSino USrelationswerewelltaken Itwasagreatoversight entirelymisleading forsomepeople inthe U S thento portrayMao Chinaas greatplace Itisequallyinappropriatetoconceiveofthepost MaoChinaasa repressive countrywithout acknowledgingthatChinahas transformedfrom totalitarianregime authoritarian Irecentlytalkedwith severalChinese scholars inthe fieldofinternational politics TheyallexpressedtheirdisappointmentwiththedoublestandardsofU S policytowardsdomestic turmoilsinothercountries Noothercountryshouldhave applauded PresidentYeltsin readiness andcarelessness intheuse offorce dealtwithhis opposition intheRussian congress professor Shanghai universitysaid Aseniorresearcherfrom BeijingtoldmethatthetankswhichYeltsin usedinMoscowremindedhimofthetankshesawinBeijingin Mostpeople withwhomIrecentlytalkedhave afavorableview oftheUnited States TheyhopethatSino USrelationswillbeimprovedinthenearfuture China tohave agoodrelationshipwiththe U S Chinajoinsthe international community YangXiyue editor chiefoftheShanghaijournal International Observation sdinarecentmeetingonSino USrelations Hisremarkactually reflectsthefeelingofthepublic PeoplefeelthatChinacannotachieveanythingin internationalaffairswithoutcooperationfromtheU S Formanypeople thefailure ofBeijing sbidforthe2000Olympicgameswasacaseinpoint Peopledonotresent S inblockingBeijing somuchas dissatisfiedwiththe Chinesegovernmen tforits hopelesseffort MosthopethatJiangZemin President ofthePRC successfulinimproving Sino U S relations inhis forthcomingvisitto Seattle inNovember While Chinesepublichas favoredagood relationshipwiththe U S radicalviews shouldnotbeignored especiallyas Chinaisbecomingamajoreconomic powerintheworld InmyflightfromSanFranciscotoHongKong Ihadadisturbing conversationwithaChinesewhosatnexttome Hewasinhisearly40s carefullydressed withwell kepthair Iwasnotsurprisedwhenhetoldmethathe estate agent Doyoulive intheUnited States Heaskedme DoyouworkinaChineserestaurant Forhim aChinesepersonliving U S eitheranowneror awaiter arestaurant No I teacher Hedidnottalktomeforawhile Apparently therewasnobusinessthatone could aboutwith apoor teacher HowlongwillyoubeinChina Hefinallydecidedtoresumeourchat Acoupleofyears Ianswered YoumayworkformeasmyEnglishsecretary Iwillpayyoualotofmoney Ididnotimmediatel yturndownhis offer Instead Iaskedhimtotellme abouthimselfandhis business Hewasborninahigh rankingcadre sfamilyinBeijing Hejoinedthearmy whenhewas andlater inthefinalyearsoftheCulturalRevolution wasselected tostudyatQinghuaUniversity Upongraduation hebegantoworkinalargesteel factoryin Beijing PartySecretary ofthe personnel office andthenwas transferredtobetheheadofthebureauoftourisminacoastalcity In1984 arrivedintheU S tostudyEnglishinacommunitycollegenearLosAngeles But soonhefoundthathewas toooldtolearnEnglish Instead heworkedasawaiterin aChineserestaurantduringthedayandasakeeperinamotelduringthenight The onlythingthatmadehimhappy wasto spend hisweekendsinLasVegas After themostawfultwoyearsinhislife hereturnedtoChina Withthehelpofhis father friends easilyfound amanagerin ajoint venture hotelin Beijing Hequitthisjobandbecamearealestateagenttwoyearsago Itisavery lucrativebusiness hesaidtome Inthepasttwoyears hehasmadeseveraltrips abroa attract foreign investment IaskedhimabouthistriptotheU S Terrible hesaid Americansdon knowhowto dobusinesswith China How I asked Theyare toomuchconcernedwiththe legal procedures Hedidnotgive furtherexplanationandshiflhistopic TheUnitedStatesisdeclining becauseit placed toomuchemphasis social welfare andminorityissues Iaskedhimto explainhis point Minoritypeople inthe U S advantage ofits social welfare system The Latinos intheU S areverylazyandtheydo notwanttodo anythingbut watchsoccergames BlackAmericanshavefartoomanychildrenthantheycan afford foster As result white taxpayers support Idecidedtoendourconversationwhilehecontinuedto tellmehowChinawill emerge superpower replacetheUnited States theworldleader inthe nearfuture ItoldhimthathisunderstandingoftheUnitedStateswasproblematic Howcouldweexpecthimtomakeasoundjudgmenton another society whenso muchofthe realityofhisownsocietyhadbeen distorted byhim Whatespeciallybotheredmewerehis racistremarks Ahalfcenturyago Lu Xun thefamous Chinese writer general observation Throughoutthe Chinesehavehadonlytwo oflooking foreigners tothemas superior beingsordownonthemaswildanimals Theyhaveneverbeenabletotreatthemas friends toconsiderthemaspeoplelikethemselves Untilwhen Iwonder canChina getridofthis superior inferior attitudetowards nations races cultures Andtobemore sensitive least these offensiveremarks This estate agentwas probably representative forthe Chinese Butpeoplelike couldbevery influentialinthedecision makingcircle Thetroubling factors Sino U S relations donotonlyexist onthe Chinaside A numberofChinese intellectuals toldmethat theyfeltoffendedby SamuelHuntington heconstructionsiteoftheCenterofAmericanStudiesatFudan Theconsuction recentarticle TheClash wassponsoredbytheU S wassuspendedbecauseofthe1989Tiananmen ofCivilizations which Incident T heunfinishedprojectsignifiesthestagnationofSino USrelations waspublishedinthe summerissueofForeignAffairs Huntingtonarguedthatthefundamentalsourceof international conflictinthefuturewillnotbeideological oreconomic butcultural Theprincipal conflicts ofglobal politics willoccurbetweennations andgroups different civilizations AWestatthepeakofitspower confronts Wests increasinglyhavethe desire willandthe resources toshapethe worldinnon Westernways ThemajorenemiesoftheWest accordingtoHuntington willbe Confucian countries andIslamic fundamentalist states Huntington article reflects adeep sense ofunease aboutthe futureamong theleadersofWesterncountries TheconfidencethattheWestwouldremaina dominantforce inthe centuryhasbeen shattered because ofthe rapid political CL economicdevelopmentinmanynon Westerncountriesinthepastdecades The question iswhethertherealms ofdifferent civilizationshavebecomeblurredor clearerastheworldmovestowardsanewmillennia Ihaveseenanint egrationof civilizationsratherthanaclashofcivilizations Anyonewhostudiesthepost Mao Chinais surelyawarehowmuchthe ChinesehavelearnedfromtheWest notonly itstechnology butalsoitsadministrativeskills economicmethods socialnorms politicalvalues ThethreatofConfuciancivilizationistotallyunfounded Topredict clashofcivilizations willonlyaddtensionsandlead large scale conflicts The Sino US relationshipisinits criticalmoment whichis coloredby uncertainty Chinaitselfisexpectedtogothroughanothercrucialmomentinits historywhenDengXiaopingmakeshisbigdecisiontogotoseeMarx Isthere anythingmoreimportantthanthefateofone fifthoftheworldpopulation Ormore interestingthanobservingthisnewepisode ofChina century longtransformation It willbe anexcitingexperience formetogothrough pivotaltime withmyfamily friends andfellowcountrymen women Iwanttoknowhowtheylive governmentpolicies affecttheir lives andhowthechange their lives transforms thewaytheythink Iamprivilegedtobewiththem itisahome coming indeed I draftedthe large ofthis newsletteron aNorthwestflight across Pacific AsIamnowtypingthedraftintomyMacintoshPowerBook Ikeepasking myself Isittoopersonal Arereadersofthenewsletterreallyinterestedinmy ownstoriesandmysomewhatsentimentalfeelingsaboutmyoldandnewhome I finallydecidedtokeepitasitwas Thisisapersonaljourneyandapersonalreport Bythat Idonotmeanthat I willbe writing aboutmyselfwhile expecting write aboutacountry China WhatImeanisthat becauseofmyownbackground Ihave someidiosyncraticviewpointsonmysubject Itseemsagoodideatoadmitthisin myfirstnewsletter Theverybestjourneyis allinthemind Tosharethemindisthereforeto sharethejourney Thegreatestchallengeformeistofindoutinwhatwaythe uniqueness ofmyexperienceandconcerns couldbemadetolinkmewith otherpeople insteadofseparatingmefromthem Myjourney Ihope willbeatestimonytothe simplehumanqualities andthecommonhumanaspirations dispelthe cultural differencesbetween Chinese andAmericans Sincerely ChengL No Lane ChangLeRoad Shanghai 200040 China Fax 2474947 Received Hanover November