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6/11/2004 - Back to Romania: Finding my Ithaca by Cristina Merrill

CM ROMANIA Cristina Merrill John O Crane Memorial Fellow Institute studying Ceausescu communist Romania Back Romania Finding Ithaca By Cristina Merrill JUNE BUCHAREST Romania The notion returning homeland after absence often romantic Even anxiety serves frighten sorts corners nostalgic thoughts times snapshots moments frozen encourage future traveler dream The adventure starts great imagination The longer preparation ample chance invent idealized narios Of course exercise building courage esteem great event While homeland changed better prodigal child surely But absence return offers possibility finally belonging I think romance adventure nostalgia reason I decided pursue ICWA fellowship Romania years after parents I native country escape Communism I departed young enough molded country enough remember country So decades after I decided embark Great Return homeland Odysseus wandered earth years before coming Ithaca And I entertained romantic visions going means And probably I would learn changed about returning journey before American As Milan Kundera writes Ignorance For twenty years Ulysses thought about nothing return But amazed realize essence center treasure outside Ithaca twenty years wanderings My parents Romanians I ountered I country Romanians escape I explain myself I thank America idealism encouraging probe reconcile roots I think American patriotism means knowing where comes having confidence acknowledge While America I often struggled reconcile child spent eastern Europe youth adulthood United States Were memories childhood books songs games forever Was I person pioneer uniforms served leader detachment Romania 1970s early 1980s Would friends States anything common those Bucharest How could I bring worlds together Over years I integrated snippets coming Idealized course Scenes countryside winter vacations spent mountains Transylvania summer breaks Black Sea playing tennis dancing parents ABBA climbing neighbors I fellowship application Cristina Merrill often wondered would family stayed Romania Would I lived childhood friends sterile apartment building years Could I followed passion writing journalist country today restricts expression Things seemed change December dictator deposed I never forget wrenching letter friend wrote In described great momentous events unfolded Timisoara Bucharest I shared exuberance I removed reality Should I rushed there Western before bloodstains dried taken piece crumbling communist I those things Instead I waited until I ready Maybe because Isaac Bashevis Singer writer needs address I looking Ro mania I finally first years Romania still displays tragic glamour Western author referred published right after Revolu As New York Times article recently Romania second stage recovery debilitating disease He aware recovery miracle euphoria survival given anxieties living paying medical bills staying healthy future Romania still flushed entry NATO However realities everyday paint picture The remnants repressive regime legacy country hundreds years stability identity everywhere So generous comes their homes strangers share their history Romanians sometimes display medieval lessness prejudice toward people their I believe right spending years Romania informing Members through West about Romania struggle recover trees Bucharest cherries pride wearing freshly starched pioneer uniforms special occasions doing candlelight happened often electricity failed Nicolae Ceausescu times Anyone appreciated inside jokes Wolfgang Becker movie Goodbye Lenin irreverent East Germany before after would understand nostalgia Childhood means different things different people Proust longed madeleines expat En glish Marmite while those under communism yearn pickles propaganda television In seriousness I country changing following Communism I wanted witness transition I wanted understand history happened growing truth happen A stake years after bloody Ceausescus Romania chance reshape future start decades centuries ruptive various nations ideologies A member NATO Romania hoping round admission European Union The presidential elections later serious which Romania implement necessary reforms required ascension EU great readiness change learn London From Brancusi Baroness Bucharest To prepare myself fellowship I detour through London Bucharest The major exhibit Tate Modern Romanian ceased Constantin Brancusi consid critics father modern sculpture Also after months trying I secured appointment Baroness Emma Nicholson English member European Parliament monitors Romania progress toward ascension EU believed country entry European Union Lately Baroness critical Romanian ernment regarding foreign adoptions Romanian children strong language insist government trade children being turned joining EU Romania recently admitted children adoption Italy despite international adoptions CM introduced request European Union A champion children women rights Bar oness children Italy result agreement between Italian Prime Ministe Silvio Berlusconi Romanian counterpart Adrian Nastase It strange Brancusi dubbed Paris grumpy Carpathian celebrated polished retrospective first United Kingdom The works exhibited called The Essence Things showed supreme stylist master craftsman marble stone brass I however explanation someone foothills Carpathians walked Paris capital modern world leave humble beginnings behind achieve glory refined salons world Brancusi early which represented reflected closely influences Romanian folklore mythology which abstract forms Brancusi I think accepted understood world exactly because Romanianness behind spoke universal langua In cause spent years France Brancusi considered French Roma His entire studio reconstituted right Pompidou While achievements Romanians proud Brancusi another example talent drain crippled Eastern European years What started intellectuals artists fleeing Romania early century escape persecution become western turned phenomenon since Com munism began 1950s Poverty neglect international community turned Europe richest countries resources mented population general lacks fight instead fleeing Czechs Poles Hungarians The lation slightly million I growing additional million living abroad Gheorghe Zamfir famous Ro manian flutist outside country recently television tragedy Romanians living abroad He compared Romanians Israelis people without I moment I think Roma nians because poverty It Adlai E Stevenson I believe hungry Also Romanians leader believe Vaclav Havel spiritual desperation It estimated Romanians their country decade young If I Romanian living today I would first lorry country friend works officer Western embassy Bucharest hundreds Romanians desperate That hardly rebuild nation respect world Though short meeting Baroness Nicholson think world perspective Romania exists between West world East Romania which Eastern Balkan I thought Already I Westerners I befriended behind Romania compared neighbors including Tur Hungary Bulgaria Awe I tered Westminster House Lords through private Peer entrance waited Baroness sumptuous Peer Lobby For minutes I waited I under spell English display Old World wealth Under strict starched attendants I marveled studded brass gates Lords chamber gilded floor marble tiles intended effect keeping ground meekness I humble Roma I waited Ladyship This Romania diplomats country whole waiting enter European Club I thought Coifed dressed understated light boucl jacket black pants MEP Member Euro Parliament finally rushed Pugin Room named after Parliament designers where MPs entertain visitors coffee In decidedly upper class hushed accent speaking about which EU reports I ought familiarize myself order understand standards which country Romania judged being considered trance Union You about three months worth reading teacher She refused answer questions about thought about Romania chances round members Read reports information there She because Communism Roma lacked democracy justice system function economy there She gallantly invited Chamber House Lords where I witnessed obscure debate about amendment Higher Education Bill As I Parliament building Big Ben stared close My audience Baroness Bucharest First Impressions Simply Surprising The romance Great Return quickly turned shock reality I arrived Romania I describe Bucharest Simply Surprising which ironically slogan Romanian National Tourist Office country English language literature At first spring breeze brought childhood poplar floating everywhere unmistakable aroma acacia first signs cherries private gardens words spoken language called school childhood books But I discovered I considered foreigner native I speak understand language fluently thoug apparently I sound American I guess I because unless I effort blend heels tight clothes I stared before speaking Romanians stare general By nature inquisitive observant judgmental They interest practically thing children watched smiled touched great affection Everyone seems expert science physiognomy But pecially stare anything remotely smacks being foreign decades Ceausescu forbade Romanians contact people abroad People intense interest little beauty I actually Romanian women gorgeous because I different casual It doesn things I outdoors Olympic gymnast Nadia Comaneci amateur ercise existent comfortable clothes little noticed I wearin sandals cover pictures At first pause would ensue whenever I addressed people Romanian sometimes would start speaking English When I asked directions conference hotel bellhop I pronounced Grand Ball superbly Others asked admiration where I learned speak Romanian assump being I elsewhere And person congratulated being skinny Ameri They imagine obese Who spreading propaganda Anyway I beginning think I American I thought different anyway I leave continent behind I under stand country I though I already finding Romania Western I thinking Kundera again confession Irina character Bohemia after years France makes friend Sy I could there condition I whole French solemnly altar homeland Twenty years spent abroad would smoke sacrificial ceremony That price I pardoned To accepted again Hopefully experience unfold under tragic terms Nevertheless I relearn customs least understand without everything through Western prism For I shocked religious people An En glishman I prefers superstition whatever comes widespread Young Romanians cross themselves whenever church there after Ceausescu destruction It seems every other religious saints celebrated considered insult someone named after saint bring flowers It enough major holidays Easter Romanians follow special diets before after I quickly become sinner unaware arrival Saints Constantin Elena celebrated I forget mother friends Elena I about afterwards through grapevines Soon after comes another known Rusalies celebrated after Easter birth Jesus To those literate Christianity I Romanian version Pentecoast Whitsunday memorated anniversary disciples being filled Spirit No washing Sunday again I blacklist For getting myduties proud acting Romanian woman I clothes balcony I confuse reader further local which holds spirits women known Rusalies about punish those I bewitched indeed computer riddled viruses since Religion served escape Romanians during difficult times Even Communism forbade public displays Christianity people believ things would better would saved As continues nation Ortho Christians still looks God I heard cially people I heard young For latter being religious having patience things change better I rather think sometimes excuse others decide destiny legacy complacency taught during decades totalitarianism As Havel points The Art Impossible waiting Godot being hopeless But Godot least expected ecause simply doesn exist He repre sents He itself illusion He product helplessness patch spirit It people without Eating another puzzle While plentiful compared I remember child prices There sorts stores corner shops supermarket chains selling wonderful produce cheese cooked Romanians spend average about their monthly salary basics bread cheese Many companies recognizing problem issue coupons their employees regardless worth little difference Most people choose little preferring money their housing tenance costs cigarettes There saying wealthy Roman extra clothing Indeed I Romanians looking while politicians others climbed money ladder typically plump cheeked bursting their business suits Romanians their sweets legacy Otto Austro Hungarian French influence cause desserts cheaper dinner something piece chocolate fresh whipped cream cheese filled pastry Ice cream another favorite pickup pretext Can I cream would prospect I notice McDonald cream among children adults As I people drinks But dinner average Romanian doesn After going hungry social occasions Romanians seemed satisfied after nonstop smoking I asked learned tradition lunch The Romanian breakfasts lunches friends leaves dinner enemies Now I dinner invitations Romanian women fascinating subject especially foreigners pouring Romania Sexual tourism about As Greek Romania sexual paradise The women beautiful cheap clean What meant AIDS rounds Russia another stomping ground because poverty women selves little The Greek girlfriend fashionable nowadays women money clothes restaurants sometimes country A woman works German Embassy older applying visas their young rlfriends And haven together shouldn together probably together The women beautiful great their appearance They themselves eating little I talked several women small drinking coffee smoking spend clothes cosmetics A woman twenties I I working economics We money States We opportunities either All beautiful price For woman ideal opportunity marry someone abroad sponsor country Romanian women detect foreign accent miles Romanian friend Otherwise marriage Romanian faster better Romania culture dependency women shouldn alone Indeed marry usually young these women start thinking themselves desirable caring about looks A woman considered mostly because women older those I States It while before Sex City catches Romania Bucharest under perpetual construction chaos Here world constant motion harmony which advice I received saving I frequently splattered moving gotten gallon water cidentally dropped window construc missed being cement block One cranes trucks workers thick clouds streets Unpaved roads source laughter bitterness Bucharest residents newspaper writers One guest TV kidding missed while being abroad I neglect prevalent years contracts awarded govern basis friendships bribes rarely basis merit What makes worse streets small traffic insane which causes pedestrians their hands whenever avoid sites There apparent rules governing I taxis buses across lines oncoming traffic In addition because inadequate small streets suffer added parked everywhere especially narrow sidewalks People Bucharest highest number luxury capita Europe after Albania while Romania fewest numbers personal vehicles capita again after Albania Regardless million people sometimes instruments torture Bureaucracy I Romani quite European bureaucracy I having difficulty justing waits Someone Communism indoctrinated patience lines Romanians I would expected their Latin roots exhibit testiness Because paperwork takes forever product conduct official business I waited hours before I could phone The factura should banned Communism It pretext numerous pieces paper filled numerous versions signed various chiefs after waits proper cashier Few nesses computers those sometimes learn waiting And cause still culture checks transactions credit cards still bills person Between running around bills waiting something lately waiting someone debug puter I could spend fellowship mired bureaucracy It gested landlady small building superintendent those matters Which somehow brings I counter nowadays spaga meaning small bribe Yes black market alive thriving Romania Nowadays longer about buying Kent cigarettes coffee We about money Money Romanians thing works wonders cially waits A little It seems Bucharest under perpetual construction something CM cheers furniture livery computer technician physician involved serious surgery I bribe convince apparently small salaries interested patient A friend physician another every single nurse could noticed cared after serious operation What happens You completely neglected friend The press selectively Roma nians apparently little Only eight population reads newspapers watch TV which means papers often pressed revenue sources those The TV channels still government taxes differences worked terms involving stories I could easily spend whole reading every daily publication published different points depending accepted money publish smear campaign I already journalists sometimes bring admit cannot write negatively about people vertise their newspapers Even worse friends The Press Monito Agency pointed papers publish advertorials editorial byline One article endorsing party candidate mayor recent local elections appeared section designed story complete headline byline A thorough search paper sales showed paper accepts articles qualify Publicity P which bring money The Godfather Once I arrived Otopeni International Airport I I I fought baggage claim through security passed scant dressed maids offering deals Bucharest casinos godfather friend Romania I embraced I about decade America whose appear I hardly recognized though weeks after I other women named Cristina I wanted strangle allowing baptism True least advocate parents other choice Ioana apparently popular names Religious Romanians really their saint seriously naming their after St John Ioana Ion Saint Mary Maria Saint George Gheorghe He driver friend named Nelu quick Bucharest whatever I could clouds smoke coming Nelu Ah Europe It timated million Romanians smokers though percentage Bucharest higher Nelu subofficer thought Roma right track living conditions improve order easier He makes about month which above average about which apartment maintenance costs inefficiencies system prices charged electricity other shared costs apartment buildings exorbitant about third Once phone costs added there little pleasure I dream I could travel human being Because pocket money because attached cooking Romanians notorious traveling shoestring taking wherever On Hungary Nelu couldn afford bottle water We arrived godfather apartment neigh borhood called Drumul Taberei loosely translated Road Camp This where I spent first until I found place In Ceausescu mense built factory workers dictator brought Bucharest create Communist Industrial revolution known Workers Quarters It particularly depressing sight unkempt buildings another titude people homeless rushing about direction And dfather proud apartment first floor It unusual widower pensioner alone large apartment kitchen bedrooms living Many pensioners their apartments I hearing Ceausescu least provided people Romania often forced share tight living spaces their children often their grand children sometimes their A friendly driver Florin there people living apartment teenage daughters invalid mother A former University professor ANEF National Academy Physical Education popular interna tional basketball referee godfather travel during Communist times mother apartment after working Algeria teachers years Even different million pensioners living mostly poverty Romania His pension about month barely covers shared maintenance costs In buildings electricity culated usage number rooms apart bigger number larger sometimes number people living Eating becomes daily struggle which trips market constitute exercise extreme restraint By second I getting reheating unused before breakfasting Styrofoam plates Godfather likes drink though drink cheap Romania averages cheap distilled grain alcohol He neighbor Nea Badea widower share drinks together retell stories night It pains admit godfather Romania generation though point I anyone Romania Com munism created culture dependence covers erything career outlook family A recent Gallup Romanians expect state ensuring available Indeed average people I speak complain about their government could better their lives which problem first place I Encouraging people Communists keeping people Ceausescu loved making promises government Scared party lukewarm sults recent local elections prime minister national television other promise doubling salaries pensions It false promises still Romania There expression referring political clich those Ceausescu limba literally translated wooden terms other words sentences linked pompous guage little meaning I bandied about Romanians protesting against Another problem I culture family nucleus overly protective detriment vidual Because finances people their parents until their often after start families young people rarely indepen dence another It American thing I think there point which young adults independent venture thing themselves being crippled taking The parents family cocoon their before their Being being I starting those Rusalies myself By veritable dinosaur little incentive young working being independent Treating someone elder considered respectful whereas I rather demeaning Buses older Romanians qualify passes understood someone available elderly plead younger rightfully theirs I think people thinking themselves Romania would their career United States flourishing fighting Age state indeed Now godfather early retirement years never considered starting business He Romania known international experts basketball somehow lacked courage risks I somebody laments night front TV He could still somebody unfortunately source strength longer alive He showed little communist membership booklet I never before I shuddered I looked words printed cover Workers countries unite The stamp monthly Romanian Communist Party PCR starting April The entry November Of course Revolution happened month later I asked believed party answer I godmother travel result membership That compromises Romanians order survive The party asked point divorce mother because parents consid gentry He dearly other He still paying dearly Money subject conversa godfather Romanians I learned react repeated questions about I planned spend rented apartment point I admitted twice pension phone Internet access latest exchange While Romanian currency transactions valued Euros Dollars Be cause possession foreign money forbidden Ceausescu Romanians incredibly staying abreast latest rates Godfather tried persuade money outside instead I quickly abandoned I ventured small behind apartment building I Bucharest homeless I prepared gathering pursuit friendly I afraid An American woman I later advised running proached intent bitten years lived though rabies shots I since learned schedules I outside early morning I resigned myself Bucharest joggers You wouldn stares I other lonely joggers duced Nad Ilie Nastase countless other world athletes Besides fresh lines young I answer numerous questions older benches monitor every engage conversation I tired Why I start running earlier Why I going Judy English running partner trainer shocked discover little Roma nians sport fitness I thought would sport I found opposite The Daily Markets I discovered greatest things about living Bucharest daily fruit vegetable market piata where small farmers peasants called right outside Bucharest bring whatever growing season I these sellers wrinkled faces rough hands beautiful I their calls Come pretty taste I often people these fruits often makes happy reward basic labor making purchase I I could They mostly young often cities Tradition peasants adored writers mistreated upper classes To Romanian peasants called tarani where means country represent essence Romanian people beauti natured directionless And without government danger disappearing In manic desire create industrial empire undermined country culture destroying farms bringing workers urban areas Ceausescu destroyed Ro mania Newspapers accounts funds EU sends Romania which never right people When reviewing Corneliu Baba leading Romanian artist liked paint peasant critic wrote Peasants never happy maybe these painted Baba Physically beaten incandescence their desperation So whenever I I piata Bucharest place On looks rising ashes while seems better locale As driver Romanians Third World condi tions aspire Western standards The majority streets unpaved under perpetual construction proper draining system rains pools water making walking impossible On clouds There least market neighborhood Bucharest dwellers daily I arrived right strawberry season under smell intoxicating These fruits offered without frills unwashed piled another They scooped weighed fashioned scales before being placed clear plastic It common sight parents carrying these their children In three weeks price dropped considerably about pound about cents considered luxury Bread important thing Romanian table comes cheese tomatoes maybe Fruit sport health things every Anyway berries capsuni small wonderfully flavorful Washing peeling their little stems pleasures Romania biting fresh cheese pastry corner cents sitting evening bottle Romanians though still culture When I order unless I specify glass whole bottle brought often under Farming point supporters Romanian agriculture subsistence level Af Communist growers allowed small plots which whole dustry fragmented Farmers funds kinds tools technology would expand maybe produce large scale However consumer chemicals rarely fruits vegetables I enjoying freshness result Stalls after stalls offer greenest salads onions cucumbers tomatoes parsley staples Romanian cooking Meat cheese typically separate areas while flowers everywhere sight Little carnations every roses flowers colors women insisting theirs nicest cheapest attention And interesting despite money problems Romanians Latin sentimentalists flowers Finding Apartment Culture shock contin I started searching apartment Real estate agents small nesses operate residential buildings Renting Romania means first locating right similar finding floor count mezzanine first floors times searching office unless light switch Small entrepreneurs Romania quickly estate driving immediately after Revolution there enough office space accom modate businesses especially small De velopment office buildings large companies start after years stagnation waiting According research consultant Colliers International Bucharest about tenth large office space Warsaw about fifth Prague Some retail rental agencies operated every neighborhood mostly shops Besides small display their windows entry would never guess where agent Com New York where industry thrives ibility I surprised I quickly learned rules Many desir apartments located northern north western parts price range neighborhoods embassies expensive villas greenery little public transportation Bucharest going suburban segregated incredibly place Foreigners Romania elite mingle peace crowds swanky restaurants I would consider extraordi given Romania living standards Monthly rents modest apartments areas start climb thousands dollars luxury villas I listing Euros month I wanted palace curiosity agent showing clients around entertain ICWA corresponden In truth realtors still getting working commission dismissive suitable prospects Because responsible paying their phone bills transportation agents often machiavellian average New York City broker More I pressured offer minutes initial viewing refusing quickly transportation As Adriana Sohodoleanu Research PR Coordi nator Colliers explained rental prices overall Bucharest because demand insufficient She tells Romania ownership rates world ninety population either right property legacy Ceausescu policy build cheap buildings subjects These mostly middle elderly Young people often enough money afford their places instead their relatives neighbor hoods godfather If chance apartments available usually maintenance costs these older buildings added become affordable I heard young people their Adriana included could their parents homes their their choices either relatives suffer terrible university housing Before recent nationwide elections mayors council members Bucharest politicians build dwellings youngsters I answer first place Maybe In Bucharest estate agents operate residential buildings pictured sharing among friends Romanian landlords progressive enough allow unmarried young people under I couple single American white I ideal tenant Despite financial hardships Romanians Consumer credit offered interest rates prospects allowing middle class Romanians property Already statistics middle class forming among Romanians banking institutions three times national average communications Much rental market created inflated benefit foreigners foreign native executives I looked numerous middle market apartments which desired Some apartments prewar buildings shape smelly sinister redone completely inside I these apartments previously owned pensioners faced debts caused winter maintenance costs sometimes eviction typically order avoid another season New landlords luxury apartments often cannot persuade building owners mostly pensioners little incentive invest beautifying their build I terrific centrally located large bedroom exposed ceiling beams tiles balconies ample living kitchen The trouble eleva worked neighbor eager humans unexpectedly I similar disappointment another apartment where balcony looked shell building being molished A about balconies I wonderful feature apartments other European Balconies sterile Romanian building livable But Roma Left Back Opera former tennis Above My apartment balcony nians really their balconies store during clothes Many enclosed prevent young children falling The business renting apartments still concept Romanians those meticu about choosing right tenant Owners always present during showings great sizing prospective tenant I foreign landlords Italians Greeks mainly bought apart ments investments renting profit One Italian landlord makes living Romania renting apartments interested rying estate agent about available places paying attention prospective renter When Romania European Union I happy before answering Pronto incoming Sale prices skyrocketed years Romanian economy picked again consumer credit grown foreign investment entered country I finally found I relatively build middle situated within walking distance downtown Bucharest parks Cismigiu within sight Opera House It young developing stages lacking residential pulse godfather place foreign accent North While I apartment building clean balconies I sentimental reasons Out West block I overgrown grounds tennis I belonged before moving United States The Tennis Club Bucharest TCB called The Ceausescus considered bourgeois establishment affiliated party after I Now forlorn unkempt serving secret meeting place lovers kinds haven homeless My apartment fourth floor decorating adequate At square meters larger former apartment New York third I access balcony facing building through kitchen bedroom This unexciting opens posterior entire building complex It pretty quiet except sounds barking occasional street peddler calling scrap metal The living leads little balcony western I basics couch TV chairs landlady offers furnish TV Right front windows western other reason I chose apartment unfinished immense building taking whole length width another Ceausescu megalomaniac projects inspired visit North Korea This Communist Coliseum meant house radio stations Bucharest though unclear going empty building square meters Buildings which nothing desperate displays grandeur built foundations poverty neglect known Circul Foamei Circus Hunger The example building Ceausescu called Palace People houses country Parliament It immense structure thousands workers architects build billions dollars It floors rooms lobby underground levels including enormous nuclear bunker Started intended headquarters Communist Government still unfinished Ceausescu executed Slowly these buildings being taken large corporations veloped retail office space Next summer building across western balcony public Metropola complex serve shoppi hotel convention center residential building health fitness center hospital space Looking enormity I think there A prison former Communists perhaps Like Palace Parliament building serves geographical reference I becoming Despite lacks architectural finesse building looks majestic virtue sheer Some complain building remained under construction years question Indeed large crane weeks I At empty giant gives simultaneous Bucharest dreadful hopeful future The western balcony This unfinished Communist building tured Institute Fellows chosen basis character previous experienc promise They young professionals funded spend minimum years carrying designed programs study writing outside United States The Fellows required report their findings experiences field month They write subject formally informally The result unique reporting analysis periodic assessment interna tional events issues Author Merrill Cristina Title ICWA Letters Europe Russia ISSN Imprint Institute Current World Affairs Hanover NH Material Type Serial Language English Frequency Monthly Other Regions South Asia East Asia The Americas Mideast North Africa Sub Saharan Africa ICWA Letters ISSN published Institute Current World Affairs Inc exempt operating foundation incorporated New York State offices located West Wheelock Street Hanover NH 03755 The letters provided charge member ICWA available libraries profes sional researchers subscription Phone Fax E Mail valley Web address Executive Director Peter Bird Martin Program Administrator Brent Jacobson Publications Design Management Ellen Kozak Institute Current World Af fairs The Crane Rogers Foundation The information contained lication reproduced writer permission