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3/15/2006 - The X-rated Newsletter or Donkeys Don’t Smile: Sex and Love in India by Richard D. Connerney

ICWA LETTERS Since Institute Current World Affairs Crane Rogers Foundation provided fellowships enable outstanding young professionals outside United States write about international areas issues An exempt operating foundation endowed Charles R Crane Institute supported contributions minded individuals foundations TRUSTEES Bryn Barnard Joseph Battat Mary Lynne Bird Steven Butler Sharon F Doorasamy Peter Geithner Gary Hartshorn Katherine Roth Kono Cheng Li Peter Bird Martin Dasa Obereigner David Z Robinson Carol Rose John Spencer Edmund Sutton HONORARY TRUSTEES David Elliot David Hapgood Pat M Holt Edwin S Munger Richard H Nolte Albert Ravenholt Phillips Talbot Institute Current World Affairs The Crane Rogers Foundation Four West Wheelock Street Hanover New Hampshire 03755 U S A RDC SOUTH ASIA Richard Connerney Phillips Talbot Fellow studying influen impact religion Indian society The X rated Newsletter Donkeys Don Smile Sex Love India By Richard D Connerney MARCH On recent through Punjab Indian woman I startled blocked copulating donkeys The rutting beasts snorting braying abandon middle narrow village could around patiently their encounter After minutes donkey dismounted stuck snout toward window hawed bared teeth looked smile victory I laughed I couldn myself I never witnessed donkey before found difficult straight My friend found nothing funny about situation however She laughing Just ignore these things There nothing funny about But donkey I asked He smiling She looked angry expression Donkey smile gravely turned towards window If donkeys caught flagrante delicto elicit reaction single Indian woman I wondered reaction mating humans would To I bought September edition India Today which conducted India survey women sexual habits attitudes The enthusiastic editor magazine hailed results unmarried Indian women indication young urban singletons shaking years conservatism asserting their sexuality Some tistics reported survey backed claim Over percent Indian women either important important percent erotic literature Sixty three percent believed equal pleasure women Other statistics however indicated among young urban In conser vative attitudes toward still widespread Seventy percent never sexual relationship percent never boyfriend percent refused marry virgin percent percent Several aspects survey findings wonder whether women surveyed wholly honest interviewer For example I difficult believing Indian women hottest fantasy water Either there something I missing about municipal these woman simply chosen innocuous sounding answer possible answers Also claim percent survey participants never masturbated Kinsey everything I understood about human sexuality Admittedly views typical something New York The sample further qualified urban higher income brackets India Today City Excepting bestiality consensual statutory there sexual practices I consider categori cally unethical But account never fails amaze India Kama Sutra seemingly prudish Soon after published Kushboo Indian commented survey remarking Kushboo Indian marital correct actress target Right political groups right anger remarks under positive score decaying values marital Even Indian womanhood western style magazines lawyers South India Maxim ridiculed demanded Kushboo ecuted committing crime During recent conver sation Delhi European educated Indian conservatism apparent When I mentioned I writing something India friend responded This thing where women doing everything before marriage happens cities In country there thing Will You Be My Valentine In culture where marriages arranged still something usually happens clandestinely among urban India Venues dating West nightclubs entele still except largest cities When I checked Tantra Culcutta hippest nightclub women attendance foreign tourists At Pegs Pints New Delhi except night locals droves Young Indian women rarely venture nightclubs these large metropolitan areas No respectable woman would caught Lucknow which attract exclusively patrons Participating Valentine Day daring women Uttar Pradesh In years right Hindu political parties Vishva Hindu Prasad World Hindu Congress VHP encouraged agitation February seeing Valentines Day corrupting foreign influence The VHP arrived unique strategy threatening unify married couple found displaying affection public February involuntary matrimony Meanwhile Shiv Sena Army Shiva leader Bal Thackery quipped Anyway youngsters thing throughout You special He gested Valentine Day given Indian On February state police cracked couples public parks intercepting dozen couples February emptive Valentines Day No involuntary weddings reported To hullabaloo about Deborah I spent Valentine Day Kukeral Crocodile Reserve popular lover Lucknow targeted February I hoping Lucknowi birds their Valentine Day controversy On driver Durilaal wanted share amorous Dainik Jaagaran Badhtii Rahee Kushboo Mushkilen The Pioneer Culture Police Latest Tie Love Birds Knots Valentines Day The Pioneer Bal Thackeray suggests Indian option V Day His suggestion renaming Valentines Day Laila Majnu Day after Laila Majnun Nizami choice Nizami Indian Azerbaijani The Pioneer No Love Lost Police Crack Down Love Birds RDC informed engaged married Congratulation I What I knowing answered I What village I asked This I knowing Well Deborah wanted T I Durilaal admitted sheepishly Then added explanation But I father chosen Unfortunately raids VHP threat voluntary matrimony seemed worked croco reserve almost empty A group played cricket while another group button shirts stood watching Could undercover police wondered Sitting bench I reached Debby The react I around shoulder Still nothing I kissed The stopped their cricket match moments stared Then returned their It occurred average Indian eleven cricket probably interesting That evening dined Lucknow Taj Hotel Lucknow finest restaurants It empty couple attendance Deborah I Valentine Day total This invasion Western cupids soundly routed tectors traditional culture Lucknowi society mained sexless least public As Deborah I shared bottle occurred person I about Durilaal driver He fianc badly somebody fault Given difficultly romance Lucknow letting father bride In Search Umrao Jaan Yet despite romance Valentines Day I somewhere there sensuous India inspired erotic temple statues Khajuraho Kama Sutra Even Lucknow tradition romance In century Lucknow tawaif group professional geisha courtesans Men repute Lucknowi society would gather special mehfil during which these highly trained women would recite poetry dance musical instru ments Tawaif simple street talented beautiful women clients would court months expensive gifts before gained their physical intimacies In 1980s popular movie entitled Umrao Jaan based novel about Lucknowi tawaif perpetuated Lucknow place courtly illicit clandestine meetings Urdu poetry whispered sotto Naturally I curious whether world depicted Umrao Jaan still existed Lucknow Some people although tawaif vived Mutiny Indepen dence survive austerity Nehru extinct Oth passed rumors tawaif still vived Lucknow could found secret clubs outskirts These places advertise however exist those To quest I contacted NGO worked female workers People Action National Integration PANI I staff PANI their offices neighborhood Jankipuram They earnest group young people their insisted identifying themselves single They explained surnames often indicate person caste religion alienate using Their optimism unflagging cheerfulness somewhat fatiguing I endured enough secure invitation accompany their outreach workers Zahid Zahid agreed along field I visions swaying tawaif Urdu songs I reclined couch smoked hookah I discovered however field meant Charbagh Railway station where Zahid introduced group rough looking prostitutes working corner public restrooms There I Kiran Sukla heavy woman claimed years Kiran about Ru child supported money Do family I asked My family I speak She swered curtly As chatted second woman Ranu approached Image taken photobucket A remake Umrao Jaan starring former Miss World Aishwariya Rai currently being filmed Lucknow INSTITUTE OF CURRENT WORLD AFFAIRS She seemed upset Zahid explained tacked clients tried discount bringing friend along A fight ensued which Ranu customers exchanged blows After hearing Ranu story other ladies heavily stone maintained prolonged unbroken silence Anyone songs I asked My Neighbor Wife Although world Tawaif underground I finding Lucknow still movies While mainstream Bombay films strictly G rated newspapers Lucknow tained suggestive advertisements films rated A Adult With names Jungul Nagini Snake Woman Jungle Bhog Ras Juice Pleasure Paap Kamaii The Wages Sin Ek Hasina Deevaane The Craziness One Girl these films played times theaters The Red Light Swaroop To learn about I Swaroop Aminabad Bazaar A dilapidated building Swaroop showing Meri Padosii Patni My Neighbor Wife Not wanting reputation Lucknow I tried theater street where would enter This quickly dashed As I stepped rickshaw I surrounded curious young wanted movies existed America Well I I I never movie They smiled laughed No really I protested I writer I writing something India This caused laughter I going convince In I expected Swaroop would similar theaters America where lonely ducked theater their collars turned their identity The Swaroop however Young entered quite openly often groups laughing other For puritanical society these In their pornographic movies remark degree shamelessness My guess My Neighbor Wife heavily edited version 1970s American flick dubbed Hindi The picture quality terrible scenes jumped little explanation seemed utterly incoherent Roughly lowed frolicking married couple Ameri West their neighbors assorted guests including knockout blonde claimed wandering chiatrist their efforts break seventh tenth ommandments often possible Partial nudity common My Neighbor Wife included gestion depiction intercourse lesbianism There explicit My Neighbor Wife however nothing would warranted anything R rating America The Swaroop broke their films theaters In intermission When Intermission flashed screen I thought I would outside coffee The crowd however remained mobile waiting something Suddenly Intermission switched jumpy trailer another 1970s American movie began Spliced trailer which looked X rated Charlie Angels several graphic depictions intercourse After about three minutes material intermission ended second My Neighbor Wife began After I stopped office manager Swaroop Mr R S Mishra Mr Mishra working Swaroop since The started showing mainstream Bombay films RDC switched could longer standard I asked My Neighbor Wife intermission material escaped sorship board He explained version butchered censorship board After edited version received necessary certificates scenes spliced sometimes order often random sequences The trailer shown intermission This would explain choppy linear quality And intermission scenes Totally Mr Mishra without hesitation We careful He complained business because availability CDs The availability CDs explained preponderance foreign actresses these films pornographic films picting Indian actresses easily available CDs black market But blonde women still Mr Mishra explained expression embarrassment On Swaroop I passed through bazaar Hazratganj kilometer theater As I walked smoke grizzled emerged grinning How movie asked Er movie I answered My Neighbor Wife laughed How I asked His smile already became wider I You movie No I objected I writer I writing about The broke belly laugh bared prominent rotting teeth It In I smiled walked A later newspaper reported Mr R S Mishra announced closing Swaroop Even titillation My Neighbor Wife could declining revenues The Problems Love Adult theaters making money In adult magazines still black In tempt plumb depths Indian Id I spent looking magazines available almost street corner Lucknow With names Saras Kathaaee Juicy Stories Prem Samasyaaee The Problems Love these magazines Playboy Dear Abby In between stories adultery umnists offer advice recipes increase sexual stamina These magazines contain explicit material their photos appear stolen West fashion magazines Victoria Secret catalogues At times articles written In Juicy Stories example I found informative tract history sacred prostitution Ujjain Most stories these magazines morality tales which fallible carnal nature woman leashes destructive sexual forces In story Pyaar Baantne Waali Aurt Wo Divided Love young bride named Kaamanii falls talking stranger convinces leave husband Calcutta Once there treacherous lover reveals actually pornographer wants Stalling Kaamanii think about proposal After agonizing slits lover throat moves village husband forgiveness Her husband refuses allow house police station confessing crime These tales often exhibit understated There almost seems enjoyment woman inevitable grace clutches leering older Stories often revolve around family members there hanky panky between women their father young their aunts Most disturbing stories include The cover popular Magazine Saras Kathaaen Juicy Stories The Pioneer City Section Another Cinema Hall Facing Closure City Man Mohan Rai Saras Kathaaee Sweta Publications New Delhi Har Jagah Sajatii Deha Dukaan Pg Anyonymous Prem Samasyaaee Sweta Publications New Delhi Pyaar Baantne Waali Aurt Anonymous INSTITUTE OF CURRENT WORLD AFFAIRS They often follow account crime present story style deliberately titillating In story Betii Kiyaa Premii Pyaar Pitaa kiyaa Balaatkaar The Daughter Loved Her Lover Her Father Raped Her young woman momentary indiscretion boyfriend leads retaliatory sexual abuse mother father Despite disturbing recurring stories incest perhaps because magazines Juicy Stories large numbers This potentially massive market India attracted British lication Maxim which recently Indian their magazine As their Western versions Indian Maxim promises Girls Gizmos Fashion content photos edited Indian sensibilities February cover Bollywood actress Kareena Kapoor strapline promises Eye frying More Kareena Less Clothes On cover Kapoor displays maybe midriff otherwise looks could grandmother Inside pictures draped across wearing sible T shirt skirt which short Readers remain unfried This bashfulness their photo selection however Maxim standing public morality championing empowerment women At magazine Maxim admittedly presents A February edition Maxim Entitled Shag Type Because women easier understand stereotype layout lists dating TV Journo rnalist Pros Looks really dolls inter views Cons Has slept everyone office acceptable media women sexual objects objects should respected nothing their undeniable allure inability attain their favors easily The In Maxim however combined healthy ogling unfortunate nastiness Actress Kushboo record right marital above ended cruel humorless One edition Maxim included photograph Khushboo beneath slogan declaring Of course I virgin count behind This spiritedness I found Maxim Juicy Stories perplexed Most Indians cruel people They everyday lionize sexual lence slander My guess thinly veiled misogyny certain Indian magazines result changes fabric Indian society shifts relations In woman favors granted societal consent following marriage ceremony exclusive remainder In Western style romantic however women wider range options They grant their physical intimacy often rarely according their To raised traditional patriarchal Indian Saras Kathaaee Sweta Publications New Delhi Betii Kiyaa Premi Pyaar Pitaa kiyaa Balaatkaar By S Sagaar Pg The Observer observer guardian world story 1697316 The Actress Virgins Lad Mag India Amelia Gentleman Ibid RDC society embryonic Indian sexual revolution threat their social status Men desire Western concep romance Young urban Indians enjoy freedom their peers New York Paris The change however requi understand control their sexuality never necessary After sexual desire humiliating experience In pursuit womanly intimacy failure common success often submit excruciatingly illogical emotional sexual calculi fickle Our tendency fools ourselves those attractive helplessness unrequited unconsummated woman seemingly limitless ability maneuver outclass there blame troubles other ourselves This frustration hands religious fanatics puerile editors sometimes degenerates Puritanism violent sexual fantasies This inspiration magazines Juicy Stories films My Neighbor Wife pointless conflicts annual hurly burly Valentine Day Uttar Pradesh Indian tranc Western conception intimacy themselves deeply conflicted attendant realities In their magazines films their newfound appreciation scantily women Victorian Iranian conception modesty sexuality This would explain seeming frigidity women India Today survey Indian women reacting mixed signals dominated Indian society Too often sexual desire blamed women their allure intentional threat while control unavoidable given A Sexual Revolution occurred America 1970s entails rehabilitation sexual expres realm taboo forbidden acceptance natural desirable genders equal measure Perhaps Indian women ready Gloria Steinem Indian quite ready Alan Alda Iron John Still there growing awareness India Americans ruled Eros choose their spouses lovers More romance could positive change subcontinent In India which struggles ideas equality ultimately egalitarian The embrace lover Poor girls marry princes sometimes heiresses Cinderella romance offers possibility social mobil In market every donkey INSTITUTE OF CURRENT WORLD AFFAIRS Current Fellows their Activities INSTITUTE OF CURRENT WORLD AFFAIRS Richard D Connerney January INDIA A lecturer Philosophy Asian Religions Logic Rutgers University Rick Connerney spending years Phillips Talbot Fellow studying writing about intertwining religion culture politics India described former U S Ambassador John Kenneth Galbraith functioning anarchy Rick B A M A religion Wheaton College University Hawaii respectively Kay Dilday October FRANCE MOROCCO An editor New York Times Op Ed years Kay holds M A Comparative International Politics Theory Graduate Center City University New York Bachelor degree English Literature Tufts University graduate Universiteit Amsterdam Netherlands Cours Civilisation Sorbonne She traveled written Haiti began journalistic council reporter Somerville This Week Somerville MA Cristina Merrill June ROMANIA Born Bucharest Cristina moved Romania United States mother father Learning English retaining Romanian majored American History Harvard College there became captain women tennis She received Master degree Journalism New York University worked several U S publications Adweek New York Times spending years Romania watching emerge darkness Ceauscescu regime presumed light membership European Union NATO Nicholas Schmidle October IRAN Nicholas freelance writer interested intersection culture religion politics Asia He spending years Pakistan writing issues ethnic sectarian national identity Previously reported Central Asia Iran published Washington Post Weekly Standard Foreign Policy Christian Science Monitor others His lives Rikki Andrew J Tabler February SYRIA LEBANON Andrew lived studied worked Middle East since Rotary Foundation Ambassadorial Fellowship enabled begin Arabic language studies toward Master degree American Uni versity Cairo Following Master editorships Middle East Times Cairo Times before moving Turkey Lebanon Syria working Senior Editor Oxford Business Group correspondent Economist Intelligence Unit His ICWA fellowship bases Beirut Damascus where report Lebanese affairs Syrian reform Jill Winder July GERMANY With B A politics Whitman College Walla Walla WA Master degree Art Curating Bard College Annandale Hudson NY Jill ICWA Donors Fellow looking Germany through ideas viewpoints contemporary artists Before months intensive study German language Berlin Thomas J Watson Fellow looking communist practice cultural politics transition former Soviet Czech Republic Slovakia Poland Croatia Hungary Latvia Romania Slovenia Ukraine Institute Fell chosen basis character previous experience promise They young professionals funded spend minimum years carrying designed programs study writing outside United States The Fellows required report their findings experiences field month They write subject formally informally The result unique reporting analysis periodic assessment interna tional events issues Author Connerney Richard D Title ICWA Letters South Asia ISSN Imprint Institute Current World Affairs Hanover NH Material Type Serial Language English Frequency Monthly Other Regions East Asia The Americas Europe Russia Mideast North Africa Sub Saharan Africa ICWA Letters ISSN published Institute Current World Affairs Inc exempt operating foundation incorporated New York State offices located West Wheelock Street Hanover NH 03755 The letters provided charge members ICWA available libraries profes sional researchers subscription Phone Fax E Mail valley Web address Executive Director Peter Bird Martin Program Administrator Brent Jacobson Publications Design Management Ellen Kozak Institute Current World Af fairs The Crane Rogers Foundation This newsletter reprinted republished without express written consent Institute Cur World Affairs